


Dnas

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-08 16:29:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17389781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: On a strike against rebels on some backwater world, Darth Vader once again confronts his greatest enemy.





	Dnas

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LittleRaven](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleRaven/gifts).



> Posted for the Exchanges After Dark Birthday Bash, a celebration of... fic. Of some description. Alternative quality fic.

Lord Vader had cornered the Rebel, saber blazing.  This was a waste of his time, reinforcing a pathetic garrison on a meaningless world.  But there was a small measure of satisfaction at the look of terror on the man’s face as Vader raised his sword arm.

“Hey!”  A voice called out behind him.  Vader blocked the blaster shot without looking and wheeled about, glaring at the new Rebel.  The weapon flew from his hands as the Sith approached, and cornered his new foe.  “Uh… fuck.  I… uh… Hyaaah!”

The Rebel flung a pocketful of _something_ at the Dark Lord of the Sith.  Lord Vader could deflect blaster bolts flawlessly, could cross blades with Jedi Masters, but seeing the cloud of silicates flying at him, had locked up momentarily. 

It couldn’t be…

“Pocket Sand!” The Rebel yelled as the projectile hit home.

Disbelief turned to rage, the fuel that powered Lord Vader, he would destroy the Rebel.  Except something was wrong.  His breathing was harder, had it gotten into his respirator?  Caused it damage?  Sand was rough.  It was coarse and got everywhere.

The world began to dim as his life support faded.

 _I don’t like sand_.

No, these were the words of a dead man.  A dead man.  There was _nothing_ of Anakin Skywalker left in Darth Vader.  There was nothing to Darth Vader really.  Nothing sustained the man, as there was no man left.

Nothing but Hate.

Through sheer force of will, Vader ignited his lightsaber, and swung, neatly bisecting the Rebel, who had been dancing a jig while jauntily singing a song about a “Little Orphan Annie.”

The other rebel shrugged.  “Well… gotta say that this is kinda how I expected to… hurkblaaargh…”

The last part may have been because he was being strangled with the force.

Five hours and hundreds of dead rebels later, Lord Vader stood seething.  Boundless rage still consumed him, all at that _sand_.  In a way, that was good--the Dark Side was power, and that power stemmed from such passions, such raw emotions as that sand had brought him.  In a way, he loved the sand, for his hatred of it allowed him to carry the day.  

“Lord Vader?” One of the stormtroopers asked, carefully stepping around the meticulously arranged corpses.

“Yes, Sergeant?”

“The men and I were thinking, and you seemed a little stressed today so we all decided to chip in and…” The Sergeant said, a few other, lower-ranking troopers also cautiously approaching.  “…buy you an all-expenses paid…”

The pause was for dramatic effect.

“Beach vacation!”  The assembled troopers were doing Jazz Hands at this.

Beaches.

Sandy, sandy beaches.

“Uh… Lord?” The sergeant asked, leaning in.  “Aw, look guys, we made him speechless!”

Official Accounts of the battle listed it as a draw in terms of men and materiel lost on both sides, although Imperial Sources have a hard time explaining why nearly all imperial casualties were from strangulation.

 

**Author's Note:**

> There is no excuse for this.


End file.
